Over the many years I have been visiting Catholic churches I have wondered why anyone would put their hand in the germ basin which is the holly water hole. So glad to see the Italians are leaping forward into this century with personal holy water dispensers. See the Swine Flu is good for something. American Catholic churches how much longer before you are on board the germ free train?
Its seems some wacky scientist believes he has found the god gene. Yes, he claims that believing in the G OD is genetic. The gene makes people more susceptible to a belief in a higher being.
This is explains so much. I can already tell you what will come of this, if indeed it is true. I think it would go something like this; Hi my name is Jack, can you turn off my god thought, Thanks!
 
Turns out Jesus, my buddy, may have asked Judas to turn him in to the Romans. A new text found in Egypt alludes to this fact. This is nothing new, Mark and John talk about such a case in both gospels. What I always find amusing is most of this stuff was written hundreds of years after Jesus’ death.
Can you imagine what stories, if any, they will be telling about me in 300 years? How factual do you think they will be?
As some of you might know last year was my last Christmas. One of my goals for 2005 was to convert to Judaism. Unfortunately, due to my hectic schedule, I never made it to Synagogue.
Keeping with my original commitment, I am not celebrating Christmas this year. Amazingly enough it is surprisingly refreshing. Not that I was too big on the whole Christ born thing anyhow, more of the commercial Santa side of things. Not having to decorate the house or buy gifts, best of all not put the lights up is a big plus. I defiantly don’t miss that part of the Holiday season.
I will admit, I do like the music, I was thinking in the shower this morning why that is? I decided it has to be because I know all the words? Or maybe it’s because it reminds me of Christmas past and reminds me of when I was a kid. Who doesn’t want to be reminded of that, well I guess there are those of you who were beaten or something worse?
So Happy Hanukkah and what not! Have a great Holiday season! In 2006 maybe we will think about doing X-mas again, but who knows?
It seems that even men of god have jumped on the band wagon in terms of podcasting. According to this New York Times article, if you miss the sermon you can pick it up on the net and listen to it at the gym. So, if you missed my weekly Sunday sermon you can catch it on the cast. You know, I love technology! Especially when it brings the WORD to my hommies!
Check it, bitches!
Catholic Insider (this is good worth a listen!)
It seems that Pat Robertson as been talking about doing some killing. This guy is so far out of touch with what’s right and wrong, its hard to believe he is a Televangelist. I guess after 100 years hosting the 700 club, I would be a little out of touch with the world too?
Check out this clip, provided by our overseas correspondent.
Been reading about the Pope this week. He has been in the fatherland, you know drinking and chilling out with his “war†buddies. There has been a lot of talk about the Nazi’s; you know those crazy assholes who fucked with everyone and some Jews. Anyway, there is lot of talk about trying to make it right, play it down and up to show the people the Pope ain’t no Jew haten Nazi.
Wait, he is the Pope, gods man on earth. Why would god let a Nazi be Pope?
PS
Am I the only one who thinks this Pope is a little scary?
Israel will pull out of Gaza starting Monday and out of the West Bank as well by September 4th. The Palestinians celebrate this Israeli pull back and abandonment of settlements claiming victory. All the while both the PLO and Hamas and whoever else can fire a gun or throw a rock, is vying for the power in these areas. It is still unclear to the media what will become of these new Palestinian controlled areas. Thankfully for you I think I might have some insight. Or maybe just some Jim bullshit?
I am going to let you in on a little secret. Come closer to the screen so you can hear me. This pullout is crap and it will not last! If you think Israel is going to let this disorganized bunch of idiots hang around and blow shit up, you are eating retard sandwiches again. I think this is nothing more than Israel showing the world how much they want to have peace, and how the Palestinians just want their country back. It is perfect, yes? Think about it? Hand over part of your country to a bunch of feuding Palestinian factions. Let them rip each other to hell. Then the Israelis can come back in, to “secure their countryâ€, and take more land!
I am optimistic that Hamas will be able to restore peace, or some semblance of peace. Lets face it the PLO can’t tie their own shoes with out paying someone off to help them and then killing three or four of their own kind, after words by accident.
Like everyone else on this planet, except for those brown people, I want peace. I just wish there were an easier way than killing everyone you see and then dividing up the remaining land. How much longer can this whole “Middle East thing†go on you ask? Well it has been going on for about 6000 years so far, I am sure it’s almost over.
The middle East (run we are on fire!)
Well it looks as though I have been passed over again for yet another job. This is one I really wanted. I was so excited at the chance at leading millions of my catholic brethren to a new era. I guess when it comes down to picking a nice Jewish boy like me or a crazy German, well?
Predictions:
No Women
No Abortions
No Condoms
No Fun
No Vatican III (Bring the Pain for Change) that would be my name for it.
No Marriage
More little boys go home crying.
Who knows though maybe this ex-anti aircraft gunner can make the church better and more exciting? Bring the change that no one says he will. Should be an exciting time for you crazy Catholics!
I just wanted to lend my two cents about the passing of the Pope. I was told I need to be reverent if I was even hoping on a shot at getting into heaven.
I saw PJP II in Phoenix, AZ in the late 80’s; this was when I was still participating in religion on a weekly basis. I would like to say, I was wowed by the whole ordeal. To tell you the truth the only thing I remember is being hot and unable to see all but a miniature size Pope from a far. I am not saying it did not have some kind of long lasting effect on me; just maybe I am not aware of it right at this moment. I will tell you; I have said many times to people, “hey, have you seen the Pope?†Their response, “Noâ€. With a big smile and some gravitas “well, I haveâ€.
When a Pope dies the College of Cardinals assemble to elect a new Pope. There is a whole method to their madness. This method has been in place since the start of Christianity and can take quite a bit of time. Mostly just bickering as the Italians let the college know they will not be embarrassed like last time. They will have their way Pope’s should only be Italian!
Now for you other Christians out there, if you can really be called Christians, especially you Evangelicals, the Catholics are Christians. Catholics were the first Christians. I know it hard to believe that Peter, one of Christ’s Apostles, was the first Pope but it’s true. Without the Apostles spreading the word and setting up the Catholic Church we would all be Jews. I guess if you really think about it we might all still be Jews? It might be hard to believe but Catholics = Christians is still a mystery to many people and this is a mystery to me? But then so is a person who can’t get that James and Jim can be the same person. It is sort of holy trinity thing, but I digress.
The Pope that’s what we were talking about. Yes, so the Cardinals sit down and over the course of a couple of weeks these guys, yes no women, try to elect a new Pope. I am not saying there is anything wrong with the way in which this is done. I am all for tradition, I am the king of keeping things the way they are right now. Who better to pick a new Pope than the people that are already working for the church? But I think it might be fun if you open it up a bit. You know maybe have some kind of Catholic world vote. I mean the Catholics are always complaining about not have the numbers like the Mormon’s or Islam. I think this is there chance to show the world how great it is to be Catholic. You get to pick the guy who talks to god.
Think about it, there are roughly one billion Catholics. I know that is a pretty good number for such an old school religion. There is a sucker born every second. Realistically, if the rest of these Christians would wake up they would realize that they are Catholic too. But I think that is another blog for another time?
Just think one billion votes cast and counted. You and I could finally run for Pope. Would it not be fantastic, the whole world, ok just Catholics at first, would come together to cast their vote for their leader. Granted there might be some problems like, voter fraud, how to count that many ballots in a life time and well there would be 999,999,998 candidates. I think there is at least one or maybe two people that would not want to be gods emissary on earth. I am not sure who that would be, wait Chris, I bet he would pass. I mean come on you have seen his… wait. I am going to get in more trouble than I want too?
First there would need to be some ground rules. Like who can run, age, color, gender, catholic that sort of thing. Once that is in place, three thousand years later, all you would have to do is submit your Christian name and your papal name in writing and you would be on your way. My papal name would be Pope Pious Malcolm James I.
Sure at first during the 2 year long primary period it would be kind of crazy trying to find a candidate in such a big field. But at least during that time, I wouldn’t have to hear what little boy Michael Jackson was trying to stick with his little prick?
So, maybe I don’t have all the details worked out yet. Maybe it would not be as much fun as I think it would be? And maybe just maybe, instead of a more moderate or liberal Pope we would end up with someone like Mel Gibson. Ending up with Mel, or some other hardass instead of pressing forward into the 21 century, would deal a sever blow to the Catholic faith. There would be no marriage; no women, no gays, no sex, no Vatic II and everyone would be speaking Latin. That’s not mentioning the mass exodus to the strip mall church for some good old shucking and jiving!
